Abraham Lincoln created peanut butter and wanted to give credit for it to a black person so the southerners would accept the blacks as their equals. However, before the plan could be put into action, John Wilkes Booth, who "despised legume racial harmony", got wind of the plan and shot Lincoln. 31 years later, the plan was revived by President Grover Cleveland. Cleveland heard of a young black botanist, Carver, who had invented over 300 uses for peanuts, but amazingly, "mashing them up and eating them wasn't one of them". Cleveland constructed an ingenious plan to allow Carver to receive credit by leaving a jar of peanut butter to an unknowing Carver, who received the credit for the invention. There is thought to be a Jar of Truth that has prove that Carver did not invent peanut butter but the Illuminati are dedicated to finding it and destroying it to keep the world from going back into racism.
Abraham Lincoln invented peanut butter.