The act of Masturbation
committed by any one person whom has not experienced sexual acts first hand, and thus must imagine the pleasure they would receive. Also referred to as a Beethoven Fap, Ludwig Fap, Ludwig Van Fap, etc.
Ground Toucher 1: Man I wish I could get with one of the elites. They're delicious...
Ground Toucher 2: Hah! Good luck, you'll never get one.
Ground Toucher 1: Well, there's always Beethoven Masturbation, right?