The successful consultant detaches from its host at the exact moment its parasitic qualities are discovered by upper management. Thus, the successful consultant's term of engagement will last from months to years, until a mildly attentive decision-maker realizes that their burning ray of hope is all talk. Note that some middle managers and all other employees of the host will immediately recognize the consultant as a pathogen.
In order to gain access to a viable host, the consultant preys upon upper managements' lack of job expertise and unrealisistic dreams of grandure. By using a string of buzz-words and metaphors that appear as incoherent babble to most humans, the consultant will usually succeed in gaining an assignment to fix a non-existant problem purportedly caused by the host's employees.
Experienced consultant: Be able to handle long crippling fuckings and be okay with shortened lifespan
A: You're a consultant? What are some of the most exotic places you've traveled to for work?
B: I once traveled to bumblefuck Western Virginia for a year. The only view from my hotel was of a large mine or some sort of a blackhole where no light escaped.
no sense of appreciation or respect for privacy.
unfortunately they are a real pain in the ass to intelligent people.
they will usually mimic in order to achieve their delusional goals.
tactics usually include: friendship or some sort of cult or religious believe.
they coast off the accomplishments of harder working people, which would be fine if they didnt turn the world world into a mockery and try to pull them into it.
" we are consultants for insert communication company here because we thought it would be the easiest way to be rich and happy."