Brainwashed Dumbass: OMFGZZZZ. MARIJUANA CAN KILL YOU IT LIEK MAKES UR BRAIN MELT && YOUR LUNGS GET LUNG CANCERRRRRZZZ. U NEED D.A.R.E. BEFORE U DYE OF POT OVERDOOOOOOSE.
Me: Did your mommy tuck you into bed with that story last night or was it on PBS?
D.A.R.E. Officer: Now children, as you know, most drug users are lazy, jobless, homicidal rapists, and since drugs cost alot of money, many druggies will use household items to get high.
Kid: Like what?
D.A.R.E. Officer: Oh, lots of things like white-out, paint thinner, sharpies, keyboard cleaner, whipped cream cans, and gas fumes can be used to get high.
Kid: Whoa, cool!
* Everyone starts sniffing markers *