The unwanted yet unavoidable state of sadness initiated by listening to Luther Vandross's "Dance With My Father" (can also be applied to any situation where unnecessary sadness results).
Emotionless Bastard: I don't understand why Jim started to cry when his son won that award for "best little helper" on his Little League team.
Sarcastic Friend: I dunno, I guess he was just proud to see his son really excel at something.
Jim: I'm so proud of my little boy (proceeds to cry and assumes the fetal position)
Emotionless Bastard: Damn Dance With My Father Depression