Me working at store: Do you want me to put that in a bag?
Female customer: Yes please.
Me: Do you want a regular sized one or a huge one?
Customer: I want a huge one, do you have a huge one?
Me: Oh, I've got a huge one alright.
Richie: It's a piece of paper. It is a small piece of paper.
Eddie: Read it.
Richie: "Madame Swish, three-thirty." Oh! Eddie! You haven't? Oh, what a pal you are. "Madame Swish". Ooh-err! Hohh, God, at last I'm really going to do it. And on my birthday as well! Ohhhggh, I wonder what she's like?
Eddie: She's a dead cert mate, a real stayer.
Eddie:Yeah, she'll come first.
Richie: What, before me? Good grief, that's quick. So she'll think I'm
great! Oh, what a pal you are! And it's all paid for?
Eddie: Um, not exactly, I need a tenner.
Richie: A tenner. Right. That's quite cheap, isn't it?
Eddie: Er, well, no, in that case it's a tenner each way.
Richie: Well, how many ways are there?
Eddie: Well, you'll come first, second or third, won't you?
Richie: Well how many people are going to be there?
Eddie: Well, a few thousand.
Eddie: Well it's Kempton.
Richie:Kempton? I can't get down to Kempton by three-thirty!
Eddie: You don't have to mate, it'll be on the telly!
Richie: They're going to televise it? Well what if my auntie's watching?
Eddie: Well what's illegal about betting on a horse?
Richie: A horse?
Richie: Madame Swish is, is, is a horse?
Eddie: Yeah! Well what did you think it was?
Richie: Oh no, nothing, nothing. Just checking.
Eddie:I have given you a red hot tip.
Richie: (looks at his crotch) I know, and there's nothing I can do about it now, is there!
News anchor: "So the weather today is warm and wet. How are you Lisa, warm and wet as well?"
News guy: "So today in major league basketball...football... I mean baseball, uhh I got my balls screwed up."
Guy on daytime show: "So I've got a hard one for you Jen."
Double- meaning two
Entendre- the French word meaning 'to hear,' NOT 'intent.'
Double Entendre- 'double hearing,' or basically when you hear two meanings
(A double entendre because Hannibal is actually having- as in eating- a friend for dinner, instead of just having a friend over to eat dinner together)
Double - Two
Entendre - Derived from the french word for intent.
Double Entendre - Intentionally giving a double meaning.
"Take off you pants and jacket (jack it)"
Number Two: No, Dr. Evil. It's called a "double entendre".
Dr. Evil: SILENCE, NUMBER TWO!!
(Number Two falls into a firy pit)
Number Two: AAAHHHHHH!!!
Female customer at shop: Can I have a bag for that please?
Me working on register: Do you want a regular sized one or a huge one?
Customer: I want a huge one.
Me: I've got a huge one for you.