Full Name:Eric Theodore Cartman
Relatives:Liane cartman,the biggest whore in america
:The other fat cartmans,all of them are
fatter versions of him
Enjoys: Watching terrance and phillip,,making anyone feel like shit and eating.
Dislikes: pretty much everything else
He is fucking insane.
Once he got a kid to eat his own parents because he owed him $10.
In imagination land the christmas critters he invented in a fucking weird story give someone HIV then killed them.....
Ah well it's still the funniest shit on this depressing earth
(its funnier then watching telitubbies when ur high)
Cartmen: Lets See hmm Nope Im Sorry Kyle I don't Have Any Jew Candy
Kyle: Fuck You Fat Ass
Cartmen: no kitty this is my pot pie
Cartmen: NO KITTY THIS IS MY POT PIE!!
Cartmen: Mooommm Kitty's bein a dildo.
Cartmen's Mom : well then i know a certain kitty-kitty thats sleeping with mommy tonight.
Eric Cartman: "SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY JEW!"
Eric Cartman: "Mom, can i get a Chinpokomon toy?"
Mom: "No, poopykins"
Eric Cartman: "But meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem! I want the toy before Kyle gets it so i can be coooooooooooooooool."
Stan : Dude, your penis size is yet to measured.
Eric : I measured mine this morning. It is 13.7" long.
Stan : Your penis is not 13.7". We'll measure your penis in front of witnesses.
Eric : Now you want to measure guys' penises? What are you, a HOMO?
Stan : You just measured everyone's penis.
Eric : OK FINE.
Stan : (Measures Eric's penis size) It is 1.2".
Eric : Mom! I want iPad2 with 64gb and 3g.
Eric's Mom : Eric, that is too expensive. We can't afford that. Look here, you can get Toshiba's tablet instead. It has all the features of iPad and is much cheaper.
Eric : BUT IT IS NOT IPAD. KYLE HAS AN IPAD.
Eric' Mom : I am not buying that.
Eric : (Turns his back towards his mom, squats and gets down his pant) Mom why don't you take me to the Greasemonkey. I liked to be lubed before I get FUCKED.