Fairbanks seems nice for a while, but once you get to know it you find out it's a lot like Stephen King's imagining of Derry, Maine with more freaked-out alcoholics. If you doubted before that a whole town could be insane, you will no longer. You know those magic mirrors with an evil world on the other side? Whitehorse, YT is on the good side of the mirror, and Fairbanks is the bad side. Repeat: Fairbanks is the bad side of the mirror.
To forget, Billy. There's things in the snow we'd just as soon forget.
And how come everyone has night terrors where they scream in tongues about the old ones, and wake up with bleeding noses?
Well, Billy, I haven't lived many other places but I suspect that happens to everyone. Yep, I reckon it's just part of the human condition.
Resident of Fairbanks #2: No. Walmart is better!
Oh yes... this is how bad that mall sucks but it is totally incredible! And it's the only mall in town so we better like it!