One of the closest replacements that professionals have identified is Chuck Norris. However, that name could not even simulate the significance of Jarrod.
Jarrod is the solidified embodiment of life itself, and recent investigations have shown that any human capable of even envisioning Jarrod have either suspiciously congested poison, spontaneously combusted, or been struck by lightning on a clear day.
Jarrod has muscles surpassingly gargantuan, and he exudes an aroma of bacon, freshly cut grass, fire on a crisp autumn evening, and your grandmother’s house on Christmas day.
He is the personification of existence.
Daniel: What, tell me! I must know!!
Jarrod: She went to Jarrod!
Daniel: Dude, I want in on that!