A Kolonius might stun those around them with their ability to model complex systems using physics or calculus, and at the same time will dumbfound spectators when said character tries to open a can of tuna with an umbrella.
“I told her if she came home with me I’d photograph her naked in my basement! Uh, um…but then she had to leave because Santa Claus flew in on a vacuum cleaner and reminded me I left the oven on”.
A Kolonius will also multiply any quantity or endeavor to an absurd degree with each re-telling to make stories more sensational, and simultaneously blatantly untrue but hilarious: i.e. “Well I’d had about 43 Gin and Tonics”, or “Oh, that was the week I jogged out to the West Coast”.