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13.
Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
автор: mandingoe 7 ноября 2005
547 267
 
1.
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?

That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.

Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
автор: jeffro 25 февраля 2003
8875 2796
 
2.
Mass murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
автор: Michael............... 23 марта 2006
8106 2885
 
3.
The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.
Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!
автор: Nick 10 ноября 2002
4818 1986
 
4.
Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.

It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
автор: fetusboy 16 сентября 2005
3607 1806
 
5.
"Practise sex"
If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
автор: LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD 16 марта 2003
3478 1731
 
6.
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
Time for my daily jerk!
автор: I have have seen the promise land 14 апреля 2003
3205 1583
 
7.
Playing solo on one's organs.
автор: anonymous 9 марта 2003
2826 1415