Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
#wank #woody #pr0n #self #joke
автор: mandingoe 7 ноября 2005
Top Definition
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?

That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.

Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
автор: jeffro 25 февраля 2003
Mass murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
#jerking #masturbating #stroking #choking #rubbing
автор: Michael............... 23 марта 2006
The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.
Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!
автор: Nick 10 ноября 2002
"Practise sex"
If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
автор: LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD 16 марта 2003
Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.

It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
автор: fetusboy 16 сентября 2005
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
Time for my daily jerk!
автор: I have have seen the promise land 14 апреля 2003
Playing solo on one's organs.
автор: Anonymous 9 марта 2003
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