Nabalzatal is a drug used by women with
spouses addicted to any of the following maladies: ESPN, a nefarious substance known as Pron, or the insidious DTV. This medication effectively shrinks the male genitalia into small pea sized
organs, which serve
no discernible function, causing men to willingly
give up their
addictions to the aforementioned
substances. This medication has not yet been cleared by the FDA (as of this writing, August 2009) and is usually purchased through an underground network of frustrated wives.
Treatment methods vary, but method of intake
is exceedingly simple. Nabalzatal is flavorless, and can be mixed into most food substances, while remaining impossible to detect
by sight or smell. Despite information
to the contrary, it is widely believed to work well when taken in conjunction with
Side effects are generally
mild, and may include: insecurity, shameless crying, a liking for Enya songs, and spontaneous shrinkage.