A charming, charismatic, magically shrinking, enthusiastic, awesome, charismatic, awesome, charismatic, awesome guy.
CEO and co-founder of Apple.
Well, I've got some BIG news this year, and I want the whole world to hear it: I quit. Yes that's right I'm resigning effective immediately, and what's more - I'm shutting down all of Apple.
Now I know this comes as a surprise to some of you, but if you think about it, you'll see I really didn't have a choice. I mean, Vista's been performing so well, you know I mean they've sold tens of...dozens of copies. It was clear to me that Leopard was just going to get lost in all of that "Wow".
And then, I got my iPod killer - the Zune. Look at this baby huh, brown. Now, I'm sure you'd agree it's time for Apple to wave the white flag, and concede defeat to the boys up in Redmond, Washington.
And don't shed tears over the iPhone and all that other junk we talked about, just carry those big brains of yours up out of the Moscone Centre and go on home. You're no longer needed.
PC: Oh hey oh hi Mac...what's...what's going on? How are you?
Mac: *sigh* Again? Really...why? I thought we talked about this last year...? You think these people are really going to believe you're Steve Jobs?
PC: hmmm...you're right, you're right.
Hello, I'm Phil Schiller.
Bill Gates is in the process of giving 85% of his fortunate to charity. Linus Torvalds single-handedly invented Linux, and made it free and open-source. Jobs has done neither of these things.
When Jobs' own company, NeXt, failed miserably, he returned to Apple as CEO. At the time, several other companies were manufacturing MacOS-compatible computers; Jobs revoked their licenses. He also put the kibosh on a project to develop a PC-compatible version of MacOS, the result of both of these actions being that if you want to use MacOS, you have to buy a Mac.
If I had a Death Note, I would write 'Steve Jobs - death by diarrhoea' in it.
Founded Apple by robbing another man who did all the work for him (Wozniak). The only reason he is so popular is because of his ultimate salesman persona, that allowed him to captivate and trick 3% of the general PC using public.
What people fail to realize is that the reason 98% of people use PC's is because most people like the idea of generosity, economic flexibility and freedom. Apple is none of these things, and the single BIGGEST Big-Brother company of all time.
Wozniak is the true genius behind Apple, a good man and a humanitarian, and Jobs robbed him. Wozniak himself was so disgusted with Jobs business policies that he gave his millions to a laid-off Apple employee and quit. He has yet to return, and I know he never will.
Bill Gates gives billions to charity. Linus made his platform free. Steve Jobs acts like he's high and fucking mighty because of his supposed 1$ salary. I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT ONE.
TL:DR- Jobs is the ultimate self-inguldent douchebag of all time, and it is his policies and his policies alone that make Apple what it is. If you like overpriced technology that does less, bullshit customer service that robs you of buckets of money unfairly and want to be a part of the most elitist cult of all time, you have Steve Jobs to thank.
Hence apple in latin is very similar to the word Evil in latin.
Mac Comp: WTF is this program you just gave me I can't read it, nor smell it!!