An example of a true vampire is Lestat de Lioncourt, the main character of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. Evil, cunning, charming, original (and not merely a pathetic example of cheesey romance) ACTUALLY sexy and not afraid to prey on humans, Lestat obviously reduces Edward Cullen to the sparkly pile of shit he is.
Summary: Team Lestat is for those of you who know that Lestat sucks blood, and Edward sucks cock. REAL VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE.
Me: ... Team Lestat.
Twitard: OMG!! I tried reading that book CUZ I LUV VAMPIRES but it was liek so scary!!! Lestat is soo mean! He kills PEOPLE!!!! D: D: Edward is such a better vampire!!!
Me: .... *facepalm*