An unfortunate species who are never going to amount to anything except at best a supermarket cashier (no offence to any nice supermarket cashiers out there) with about five children by the age of 23 - the first of which was concieved when the mother was at or around 12-years-old; it is unlikely that the father would be known as they tend not to stay around for very long - it's possibly some kind of anchient custom.
They spend their time at school wasting time and tax payers money whilst making a mockery of anyone who is better than them.
It is very rare that you will find a towny who speaks in anything more advanced than duosyllables, unless it is an obsenity, in which case fire away!
They also have their own branch of language, encorporating words such as: ka-ching (money), bling-bling (odd shiny objects of some kind) and 'fuckin innit-like' (presumably some kind of greeting?) Other words such as chilling, fit and grass have been taken out of context and used to descrice satisfactory, attractive and to tell tales.
Townies can be identified by tacky tracksuits, large socks, even larger caps, fake designer labels and 'gold' rings, watches and dog tags which they like to refer to as 'blin-bling'or 'well blingin'. It is believed by other members of the speicies that the more 'blingin' you are, the more highly you should be regarded as a person; civilised people understand that this is rather a bestial trate, however the towny can be excused as their brains are never more than the size of a large raisin.
Townies are currently initiated in a tribal warefare with the far superior cults of grebos, punks, skaters, goths excetera. Collectively, these other groups are known as 'alternative'. This is a state of being with which townies narrow minds dissalow them to abide and so and encounter between the two groups usually results in either physical or verbal abuse, granted the fact that the verbal abuse of a townie is rarely more than a string of f's and c's flying around in various directions.
In the end just remember one thing: You are better than them; they are to be pittied, not hated.
The opposite of a tourist. A tourist would have to gather information about the place they are travelling (sites, restaurants, rest stops, etc.). A townie would be the one to give the tourist that information since that person would hold a wealth of knowledge about that city/town.
Townies will wear t-shirts representing their city/town/state (or all of the above) even if they do not currently live in that city/town/state.
no1 likes them.
they get pregnant at 12.
they smoke (ino other ppl do!!)
they nick stuff.
they think their in an american gangsta movie and say shit like 'YES BLOOD' ' ENIT GANGSTA'
THEY ARE FUK WITS
dont understand grebsor punks
stupid townies gurls think they rule the skool cus theres more of em and freakout when they realise sum 1 in there class is a greb
listen to music like j-lo and britney spears and act and dress like every 1 else!
Townies wear tacky clothes, think everyone is a goff, call everyone a batti or a batti boy, pick fights they'd lose without a knife or their big bro to back them up, and think they're well hard. They'll shout abuse at you in the street, try to start fights, and some of the dodgier, braver, more stupid ones might actually knife you.
They seem to be under the delusion that they are American gangstas from NY, really creep around Leeds or Machester or wherever they live (always in abundance), have at least five little ankle-biters crawling around with them in front of the McDonalds, which is the only place they will ever be able to work (unless they want to collect rubbish) as they've failed everything.
They've got their own Townie language and are actually thick enough to think everyone else understand them as well. They think they're popular, but everyone really loathes them.
They'll drink white lightning and smoke cheap fags and are always trying to act stoned or drunk so they can look cool. Their pants are always hanging out of their cheap £1 tracksuits, and they've got IQs less than 0.
Townies are easily confused, and, like all thick-headed twats, don't like being made fools of, but they're mostly more bark than bite.
Twat: 'm not a Townie!
grunger: then you're a greebo, then?
Twat: Not a fuckin greebo, 'ma Townie, innit!
Not those fecking townies again! This place is a cess-pool!