Victim: "Sure thing. Well I wanted to talk to you about...holy shit, did you just cut one?"
Victim: "Yes you did!" Your ass smells like old potato chips and mayonnaise!"
You: "That wasn't me. I noticed you flopped onto my cushion so what you're smelling are my yesterfarts. Now can we get back to our conversation and you're inevitable question on whether or not I fucked your mother? Yes, by the way."