A bear can swallow an orange and shit out a new world religion.
When you see waves at the beach, its because the ocean is trying to escape from bears who feel like swimming.
A retarded boy from Wisconsin once hugged a bear on a camping trip long ago. That boy turned out to be Jesus.
The Space Shuttle was originally created to escape from Bears and find a new bear-free planet. The Appollo and Columbia shuttles had the misfortune of not bear-proofing the doors.
The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was actually caused by one Bear and 7 Beers.
Friday the 13th is based on the true story of a Bear who got bored on day.
A Grizzly from Northern Canada has more friends on Myspace than Tom.
God decided one day to fight a Bear in one of his forests. The outcome resulted in the forest becoming the Sahara Desert and God becoming Anna Nicole Smith.
"Hey, I heard Chuck Norris died yesterday." "Yeah, he made a Bear joke in public."
"How did Jeff die?" "A Bear" "A Bear ate him?" "No, it hit him while going 60 in a 03 Toyota."