Are you tired of carrying around that purse filled with countless useless, shallow earthly possessions? Are your inferior female arms too weak and puny to support stereotypically-female items like makeup and lipstick, insulting the intelligent men who designed them specifically for your special limitations? Enter CuntBucket (TM), the new storage device tailored specifically to women. Since time immemorial, the vagina has been the most useless aspect of a woman, contributing to nothing but the miracle of childbirth and simple physical carnal pleasures. Finally, science has found a use for it. CuntBucket (TM) attaches securely to the vagina using our patented HoleHold (R) technology. The presence of CuntBucket (TM) also helps correct the natural positioning of your legs, ensuring that they are always open. So what are you waiting for? Politely request that your husband call 1800-FLAPBIN today, and start a better life. Ask for Tim. If he's not there, leave a message with the woman that answers, containing your phone number and the phrase "buckets of fun". Do not mention CuntBucket (TM) to this woman. She'll kill me.
Jill: Ah, I see you got yourself a CuntBucket (TM). It looks nice.
Fernanda: Yeah it's really coming in handy. I save a lot of money on tampons. By the way, why did you spell out the "left bracket, tee, em, right bracket"? That's a bit weird, man.
Jill: Why do you always have to question everything I do? God, you always do this.
Fernanda: I was just curious. It's a bit strange is all.
Jill: Sure, like you having a fucking bucket attached to your vagina isn't strange!!
Fernanda: You said you liked it. What else have you lied to me about?
Let's just finish the race, okay? Why are we even talking about this while competing in a rally championship?