Cop 2: Failure to scoop, aww yeahh.
Fry (attempting to lift the dark matter poop): Wait, I'm trying! It weighs as much as a thousand suns!
2. The observation of the universe sometimes fails to follow the known laws of physics, so instead of theorizing that there must be more laws we've yet to discover, scientists have instead decided to push forward the idea that invisible masses must exist, and thus explain away the discrepancies and gaps in our knowledge.
3. Science akin to religion in that nothing at all proves it, but lots of people believe it because it explains something that was hitherto before difficult to understand.
4. Theory regarding matter and gravity that seems to make sense of Newtonian physics when it fails us, but in doing so introduces a concept that is completely ludicrous.
5. Alternative hypothesis to how the universe works to the much more logical MOND theory, or variations thereof.
6. An example of lazy science.
7. The greatest example of how extremely intelligent people can at times be completely clueless, lacking in all common sense.
That astrophysicist over there, he can't understand how shit works so he's decided he's gonna pull some old bullshit theory out his ass and see if he can prove its true. He calls it Dark Matter cause its like all invisible 'n shit.
Aliens beamed me up yo, just sos they could like laugh at all a us for this Dark Matter bullshit.
I'm done with reason, from now on I believe in Big Foot, Vampires, honest politicians, and Dark Matter yo!
Some chick with short shorts is stretching her legs in a split, you see her dark matter.