"A faffer is the enemy of time, effortlessly consuming it while pretending to be constructive" - Quote
Elmerdale was a wet. His girl-friend always had to tell him what to do. Left on his own he would faff his life away with trivial, unimportant tasks, getting in a muddle, forgetting the things that mattered. He polished his glasses three times before a stranger at the next table reminded him he had cleaned them already and pointed out his shirt cuffs were soaked with tea.
"yeah, a real faffer if ever there was one!"
also "I have faff, must faff about!"
2. an attractive woman who's personality is unattractive, but who's body is built for sex
v. to have sex with a faffer
The chick won't shut up about herself, but I'd still faffer.