person B: Oh god NO! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO PUSH IT ON FRIDAYS!
person A: WHY WHAT HAPPENS IF I PRESS IT ON FRIDAY?
person B: THE MANUAL DOESN'T SAY!!!
The girlfriend button, not that you'd ever know, is in fact, another word, for the the clitoris. The clitoris is basically like one of those new fangled garden hoses with a button instead of a knob to turn on the massive flow of liquid. Where in that case you would push the button to water your garden, a clitoris is a button that you would push to water your moustache.
(The vaginal juices have been known to be an excellent fertilizer. In fact, instead of paying out your ass for one of those miracle hair growth formulas for pathetic miserable old fucks, instead, you should simply liberally apply vaginal juices to the affected area.)