Girls: Hard to tell apart form soft-core punk chicks; usually tattooed, and clothed similarly to the guys.
"Oh no, I understand. You're a heterofag that thinks they're better than anyone who doesn't share your exact beliefs."
Hipsters enjoy telling others how different they are from other hipsters. For example: "oh those guys aren't real punk, they are trust fund punk assholes and aren't working class. Damn hipsters!" They also like pretending they are poor as stated in my quote.
They don't like their parents because living in a nice suburbs is bad to them, and having lots of money isn't fun. They are the main cause of gentrification. They think they're progressive and open minded. They want to show how progressive and open minded they are by going into poor neighborhoods and running the poor people out of there. They end up driving the poor folks out of there, and they'll laugh about it because it's ironic.
I pray to God (the one of the judeo-christian tradition you hipsters hate) that the hipster plague will be over soon. Perform performance art on them by getting a post-punk-egyptian-emo CD, cut them up with it, and beat them with those thick noam chomsky books. They'll like it because it's ironic.
If you want your kids to not be hipsters, make sure to beat them when they need to, make sure they major in science, business or math, and make sure they don't take pseudo-intellectual classes like "history of postmodernism." Make sure they never learn the word "postmodern" either.
Also, be cheap! When they graduate, make sure you tell them you aren't supporting their asses. You aren't paying 6 figures for rent for a 2x2 sized room that's rotting in San Francisco or NYC. Make sure to tell them how kids in Africa are starving and are the ones who are REALLY suffering, and tell them starving artists aren't suffering at all. Tell them to love America because other places in the world are suffering more than Americans are. Be sure to tell them Europe and Canada suck (they will threaten to move there if you tell them they can't go to an Emo Death Indie band concert) and that there's racism there among other issues, and it isn't a utopia because of it. Make sure to tell them how superior American Football is to hockey and soccer.
Hipsters will give me a thumbs down for this definition. I know you will, be ironic and give this definition a thumbs up!
Note: I can't prove it, but I will try to donate $1 to the Society of Saint Vincent De Paul, an organization that helps real poor people world wide (not fake poor people like hipsters), and because it's a Christian organization, hipsters will likely hate it. Please note, event though I hate hipsters, I am accepting (not tolerant!) of different view points. Except hipsterism. Fight hipsters and poverty by giving this definition a thumbs up!
Ok I lied. As much as I'd like to help the poor, I need to pay for food. So I can't donate to them. But I know I made some hipsters squirm, and for that I am happy. I can just look at your face, thinking to yourself "should i give this definition a thumbs up? I hate Christians, but I love poor people. I also love irony!"
"thanks man i got them from urban outfitters! you really like it?"
"no toolbag, you look like a gay hipster."
"Do you like Angels and Airwaves?"
"No, im not a hipster."
"i <3 tumblr"
"ew, youre a stupid hipster."
Person 2: Yeah, I was all about the scene kid thing but now I'm totally all about the vintage and arts, I'm pretty hipster now. I've growned up a lot and more original, I started wearing these nerd glasses waaaay before everybody. Basically I'm no longer a kid, I've become way more mature in style, music, and mind.
Person 1: ..
Person 2: I even stopped listening to Breathe Carolina and stuff, I'm all about Phoenix, The Black Kids, MGMT, and other of that amazing stuff. Yah know hipsters are just way above scene kids, scene kids are just dumb as heck.
Person 1: ...LOLOLOLOLOL, disconnect the internet and go read a book dude.