The April fool's joke of the computing world and an embarrassment to the open-source philosophy. The brat that hasn't learned to shut the fuck up and do something more productive to its cause. The hacking tool used by script kiddies who think they are "l337 haxors" after typing 10 lines of code in Pearl. A prime example of how group-think leads to less productive activity. Communism in electronic form. Now Im sure we all have by now heard the same old cliches about old Tux being the best thing since sliced bread, but eventually, they just beg to be examined a little more, as follows.
1) Linux is free.
And I'm the king of Peru. If it really is free, then the Linux sites would have no pop-up windows and ads asking for donations. Getting Luddix may be "free", but having to end up buying up to $200 worth of new hardware just to run a computer at 1/20 the speed of Windows 95 throws the whole concept of free out the door.
Also the "Free as in Beer" line is pure bullshit, because the can of Budweiser I got at the store cost me $1.39, and it costs money to get whole-grain wheat flour to create home-brewed alcohol.
And no, dumb-ass, speech is not free either. If you don't believe me, try going up to a cop and string some four-letter words in his face, nd see if he will respect your freedom of speech.
2) Linux is fast and does not contain bloat-ware like Micro$hit Windoze.
If you think Microsoft Windows is bloat-ware, you haven't tried Red Hat, ELX, or SusE, because THOSE define bloat-ware. Up to 7 CDs full of useless junk right there. And Luddix is fast alright, compared to the time it takes for Neptune to circle around the Sun. And you won't believe how much RAM a typical Lunix distribution gobbles up. Better make sure you have an extra 512MB stick of RAM handy. (Note: If you want to see a fast operating system that's not Linux, check out BeOS at www.bebits.com. Now THAT, my friend, is fast!)
3) Linux gives you choices.
That would have been fine if there were 4 distributions. Hell, that would have been okay if there were 9 distros. But 300 distros is fucking insane, especially if 293 of them suck shit through a straw.
4) with Linux, you have a wide variety of GUIs and applications.
Yeah, too bad they are all poorly-designed, and look like ripoffs of anything that Microsoft or Apple makes. Not to mention, having to type 30 fucking lines of code just to get the program to open is pure joy.
5) 2005/2004/2000/1999/1998: The Year of the Linux Desktop.
The year came and went, Windows and MacOS logos are still flashing on the screens of those who are not blessed with the faggotry of geekism. Where oh where did Tux go? The kernel that every computer "expert" hyped would be the killer of Micro$oft? Surely Walmart can't hold up the weight of the Linux community with its $300 Linspire boxes (which end up being a dirt cheap way of installing Windows on a new computer) Looks like the Lin-zealots lied to us again, which is typical of those bastards. And it's also hard to believe that it's been over 10 years, and the fucking penguins STILL haven't created anything that even Apple would give a shit about.
6) Linux is more secure and easier to improve than Windoze.
Until the terrorists, cultists, and malicious coders get their hands on Lunix. If they haven't already. After all, it is open-source, and by definition, open-source means that everybody gets to contribute their input into the kernel.
7) The Linux community is willing to lend a helping hand to those not familiar to the kernel.
If a helping hand means,
(a) telling grandma to RTFM and
(b) posting 9 spelling-error-filled pages of insults, death-threats, and jokes about gay sex/male body parts/fairy-tale creatures on a Linux message board because she politely asked how to get her sound card to work,
then surely the Luddix community is the most generous group in the world.
8) Linux is more stable than Windoze
I like that, plus the fact that you can't run anything without 200 dependencies (see dependency) or 30 lines of code.
Now that we're done breaking down the crap, here are some things the Lunatix community has no choice but to fix, if they ever want old Tux to be on more than 0.0003% of all desktops.
1) GET RID OF X! It is a waste of resources and useless as a desktop GUI. At least the guy who created Damn Small Linux had the right idea, and as a result, created a distro that actually isn't bloat-ware.
2) Get rid of all those useless fucking window managers and themes. They add more bloat to the system.
3) Get rid of the snobs, l337 haxors, and religious extremists in your midst. If you ever wonder why nobody is using Linux, it's because these bastards are the loudest and rudest of the bunch.
4) NO MORE TARBALLS OR COMPILES! The software should already be compiled BEFORE it is released, because that's just pure fucking laziness and the programmer deserves to be hanged.
5) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that programs don't need 200 fucking dependencies just to work.
6) Rewrite the entire Lin-architecture so that it doesn't require a 5-hour compile whenever an updated of a text-editor/MP3 player/Tux-Racer game is installed.
7) GET THE FUCKING HARDWARE TO WORK! If the "Winmodem" works on a FreeBSD box and a BeOS box with generic drivers, then there is no excuse for the modem to not work under Linux.
8) Standardization is good, especially when it comes to file packaging and installation.
9) Get rid of all the useless fucking distros that are clogging up the Internet. Nobody is going to use 290 of them anyway, so you might as well just band together and focus your talents and resources (and MY donation money) on the 10 most used distros.
10) Make the emulation PERFECT! If WINE promises to emulate Windows programs, then it damn well better emulate every piece of Windows-compatible software sold at Office Depot or Electronics Boutique. Failure to do so is unacceptable and will result in the purchase of a real OS (Windows XP).
Nvidia GeForce FX5500 - autodetected and installed
Soundblaster Audigy LS - autodetected and installed
CD Drive and DVD drive/CD burner - autodetected and installed
Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor - autodetected and installed
Belkin WiFi card - autodetected and installed
Installed Counter-Strike: Source with Transgaming's Cedega through Point2Play and it works perfectly. I also get better FPS in game than I ever did on Windows. When I install new programs or games to my PC, I no longer need to "reboot for changes ot take effect" - thank God.
"I am proud to be 100% Microsoft free!"
Linux users often go out of their way to find flaws with Microsoft systems. This is because they find the corporate desire to protect intellectual property as a hindrance to their technical tasks. Many of the crashes that these technologists speak of are related to their attempt in dominating the system beyond its design. It’s akin to them beating their head against a brick wall and then telling the rest of us it hurts and wishing the wall would be removed.
Simply put, Linux or Unix is for technical people who want to have near absolute control of the system. In advanced sciences of all types this is often necessary so Linux has it’s place for advanced studies and technical development that really is unable to be beat by Windows because of the corporations desire to protect its intellectual property which acts as a road block for highly technical users.
Many Linux devotees also tend to be control freaks, which is necessary in complicated systems in order to maintain order. If the chaos hamsters were ever let loose into the system they would soon find that their stable system was highly unprotected and flawed in ways they had never imagined.
Linux is for those who enjoy order and control to design and create. While Windows is for accepting the chaos of the world and bringing order to it.
Newbie user, “But if I do that in Windows it says it is a violation and crashes!”
Linux user, “Of course it does and that is why it is a unstable system.”
Its advantages over Windows are mainly ideological; it's free, usually in both of the above senses of the word, and the license, the GNU GPL, prevents proprietary implementations from screwing you over (Linux "companies" sell support, not Linux itself, for this reason).
It's also much more stable than Windows, owing to its stricter memory management, access controls, and hardware abstraction policy, and its networking performance is better since it's really meant more for servers than for desktop usage. Linux has finer-grained access control at the user and device level, though to be fair, Windows has had Unix-style file permissions since NT. Reboot times for Linux, however, are measured in months, and the only reason you should ever need to reboot Linux is if you installed a new kernel.
The disadvantages of Linux compared to Windows are mainly issues of ease of use. Linux is hard compared to Windows, mostly because it tends not to detect certain devices. This is a circular problem, because the drivers tend to be written only for Windows to begin with. It also, despite what the makers claim, *does* require some work at the terminal in most cases, and this will scare away most Windows users who never worked with Dos and the 9x series. It shouldn't, because the terminal is much more powerful and easier to use than Dos ever was, but it does.
The other main issue is that, while there are a few hundred different flavors, referred to as "distros," most of them suck. There are a few big, well-supported distros, and many are based on them: RedHat, which is popular in the corporate world, Debian, which is minimalistic and tough by itself but forms the base for the popular Ubuntu, and Slackware, which is the oldest maintained distro and is closest to the "original" Linux philosophy. There are also a few oddballs like Gentoo, which is for experts only (forces you to compile *everything* but does the annoying work for you and gives you incredible performance), and Arch, which is a minimalist hybrid of Gentoo and Slackware.
Save yourself headaches: newbies should use Ubuntu, experts should use Gentoo or Slackware, purists should use Debian, and no one should use RedHat or any RedHat based distro unless you're corporate and need it, in which case you want CentOS (RedHat for free with no tech support). Just be prepared to get your hands a little dirty, and to search the web and your distro's forums for help. There is always, always an issue that pops up that will never be in the manual or installation docs.
Most of all, remember that Linux won't insult your intelligence, but it won't hold your hand either. You can't always breeze through a Linux install like you can with Windows (though Ubuntu and friends are changing that), but you will get a solid, stable, and working system. Linux rewards effort and inquisitiveness, and punishes laziness.