The rules for "acting like a man"; the mentality, behaviors
and restrictions that
many men and boys are socialized to conform
to. These tenets of the "cult of masculinity" are both symptoms and enablers
of Dominator Culture
can be so pervasive as to be almost invisible; yet they
lead men to disrespect, mistreat, and abuse women
and each other.
THE MAN BOX
Demonstrate power/control (especially over women
Aggression - Dominance - yell - intimidate
Do not cry openly or express emotions
(except for anger)
Do not express weakness or fear - "take it"
Don't back down - don't make
Do not be "like a woman"
Have lots of sex with women
Do not be "like a gay man"
Decisions - Never ask for helpWomen
viewed as property/objects (especially sexual
(Based largely on Tony Porter's TED talk
This is the love of my life, my daughter Jay. The world I envision for her -- how do I want men to be acting and behaving? ... I need you working
with me and me working
with you on how we raise our sons and teach
them to be men -- that
to not be dominating, that
feelings and emotions, that
to promote equality, that
women who are just friends and that
's it, that
to be whole, that
as a man is tied to your liberation
as a woman.
I remember asking a nine-year-old boy ... "What would life be like for you, if you didn't have
to adhere to this man box?" He said to me, "I would be free."