'....while my Grandfather was stationed in India, he went walking
in the nearby forest, whilst he was walking
he stumbled across
a fine young
native lady, equipped with what he liked to call 'Two Juicy Marmadukes'. Being the man action that he was, he did what any real soldier would do in that situation. He quickly whipped out his 'Pump Action Yoghurt Rifle' and quickly gave her a good going over, leaving
a painter's radio....'