The world's top historians have found a link that connects the birthplace of all religions back to the semicolon. The earliest semicolon discovered, on Earth, dates back over 800 million years, according to paleontologists. However, images taken from the Mars Rover have also discovered several stone carvings of this mark.
To this date, the only use that scholars and scientists alike have been able to find for the semicolon is to combine it with other punctuation marks, like the closed parenthesis, sometimes separated by a hyphen.
(Damn you, Semicolon!!!)
"I went to the mall, however I got lost, and I had to hitch a ride with my friend, Alan, who likes semicolons. The bastard."
What Microsoft Word says:
"I went to the mall; however, I got lost; I had to hitch a ride with my friend; Alan; he likes semicolons; the bastard.
Sebastian: I'm so sorry, I've gone limp.
Anthony: A semi-colon does nothing for me, Sebastian.
Bitches don't know about my semicolons; but man, those bitches love 'em when they see 'em.