Spide: I'll bate yer balleex in ye huppy besturt
"Lest neet, I wiz ebsalutely balleexed"
A complete lack of intelligence is usually neccessary, as is the pack mentality (usually displayed through large groups standing outside an offlicense crowded round a radio playin 'beats' and swearing at the 'wenkers' who wont get them shwall a.k.a. booze, usually white lightning - dirty dirty cider).
Usually seen riding around belfast on gopeds - those microscooters with a hairdryer engine on the back, or if they are slightly less trampy, in a 'madifeyd' vauxhall nova.
Their favourite activities include hassling people, robbing pensioners, kickin' off on people for no reason apart from 'slabberin', and sniffing glue.
Bearable in ones and twos because they have too much natural cowardice to say anything, as they dont consider 1v1 or even 2v1 to be a fair fight.
However if there are three or more (depends on size of them and their quarry) then you had better not look at these "bawd lawds" twice, because then you enter their "zone of awareness".
Everyone within their "zone of awareness" that they consider to be someone they dont like (ie. most people), and they will begin to hurl insults that they are convinced are the pinnacle of wit. Unfortuantly these insults usually take the form of "fockin(noun) wenker". The noun can usually be replaced by "fenain" or "brit" if they belive you to be of a different political/religius beliefs (although they have no true beliefs themselves they just copy their "mates"), alternativly if you something black that isnt some form of addidas or nike clothing you will no doubt be branded a "gethic" and be ridiculed for you poor (lol) fashion sense.
If drunk (which is often) the people who are in their zone of awareness are seen as enemies, who must be "bait" in the currently "fair" fight (12v1).
Fortuanatly as long as you quickly leave their zone of awareness before this happens they quickly forget you exist.
The irony is of course that they always consider "you" to be a freak....
Probably comes from the term "spider men" refering to the retarded way that they walk as if they are carrying 2 tvs under their arms.