Me: "No, you're a self-absorbed idiot. Get a real job."
Jonathan: I don't even know anymore, man. I think I know how to create one though.
James: Really? How?
Jonathan: It's really super simple, buddy. Everyone can do it! Step 1, create a website. Step 2, start telling everyone that you founded a start-up.
Hipsters attend SxSW Music Festival
Startups attend SxSW Interactive Festival
"Serge just shared his Trello. He's looking for some coders for his new IOS app."
"Yeah, man. I saw it. He's such a startup. He's going to have to buy a bigger messenger bag to hold his credit card receipts."
Bad startups (90%): There are too many to list them, and it will be better to not say them aloud (superstition)