Tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between
endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage. Completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised
as tiny human beings
with giant heads. Prone
to selective hearing
and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments. More dangerous when traveling in packs. Evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast
enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.
"Do you think you'll have more children?" "Well, even
if I survive my two toddlers, FUCK No!" (Did I just say that out loud?) "Chloe, don't repeat that at grandma's!"