They surround their house with a stout fence, Leylandii hedge and something approaching street lighting as they can't bear the impenetrable darkness or the night sky.
They often tire very quickly of the countryside with its noise, mud, smells, unruly vegetation and poor ameneties and relocate to a country market town, or return to the city whence they came.
The main event of the year for a townie living in the countryside is the mid-summer party for which he erects a huge tent, brings in a band which blares out noisy thumpy music all night long to the consternation of wildlife and humans in a radius of 5 miles or so, and which is punctuated by the midnight fireworks display by which means he hopes to establish a pre-eminent social position/pretensions.
One townie to another 'what did you think of the fireworks tonight?''Great, but you should get my sort of rocket. Costs more but goes higher' (Unspoken: next time earn a city bonus like mine and you'll be able to afford them)
Townie: Oi, they don't allow dogs in there.
Me: Yeah, that's why your out here!
I walked away before they realised what I had said and unleashed their fag-breath.
townies do not understand much even though they think they do.
they also try to act hard infront of friends, especialy ones of the opposite sex (boys try to impress girls and vise verse).
female townie automaticaly respects them as they are quite gulible
'mush', 'innit' and 'bruv'
they are often incredibly un-intelligent and wear fake burberry or cheap sports jackets and caps. They also tend to wear these caps at almost vertical angles on their heads.
Townies are also often completely deaf:
Townie1: Wha' d'ya call me??
Skater2: He called you a townie duh
Townie2: Wha' d'ya call i'm?
MALE TOWNIE -
Head - Baseball cap,these are becoming more and more ridiculouslsy sized and coloured!
Hair...will not be any more that 2mm long,
Ears - Usually some type of metal around the ear.
Eyes - looking around for trouble...proabably intoxicated by something cheap,or stolen
Mouth - S**t,f**k,ya mum,stupid made up words that nobody understands but, if one townie says it...another one says it and before you know it we are all breadbins!
Moving down the body to the neck - cheap..fake..pieces of foil covered chocolate stuck together to make some "bling" or something they picked up from "da'n da markii'"
The hoody would most probably fit atleast 5 townies into one, this will be over the head...even if the baseball cap is on! and if everyone else has their tops off because it is the middle of august.
Tracksuit bottoms, in a whole range of colours, the trousers may never ever go past the top of their trainers, otherwise they suddenly become a grunger
The socks will be either from "da'n da markii'" or from a cheap clothes shop that their mum shops in.
Trainers,full stop! if they are not (apparently) more than £100 they will not be seen dead in them
All clothing will be bougth from "da'n da markii'" or stolen and given to them by their dad that never sees them or their older brother (was probably a townie)
The female townie...basic really act like a s**g,sound like....well, thats a difficult one to describe...lets just say, if they want to say something...it will be loud and be some form of cockney or extreme-commoness ,the earings...big enough for dolphins to jump through and look heavy about the smae clothing as the male townie
listens to a sad pathetic excuse for music
usually drinking 24/7 cheap cider that they illegally bought in the off license because they say they are 18 when they are really 13
think they can insult everybody, from every race, culture, abilities, success, individuality, etc
think you are looking at them all the time, and use this as an excuse to have a fight
will have missed most of their secondary education and have never even heard of further education,GCSE's are a waste of their precious hanging around on corner time.
will either end up flipping burgers or in prison. females...pregnant before they learn to spell contraception.
Will the defendant please stand
Townie: 'innit bruv, im gonna go rape sum fuckin 5 year old, la'ers.'